Bit by bit...

I went shopping today.

Yeah.

I swear to you I tried on really feminine things.  Foofy tops and pretty things.  I can't do flowery shit.  Or ruffles.  Unlike a lot of women, I am very aware of my muffin top and won't wear something that will display my rolls prominently.  You want rolls?  Go to your local bakery.

I compromised.  I found two henley tops at Old Navy.  One is bright coral, the other, white with skinny navy blue stripes.  They're v-necks...my one weapon in my arsenal.

My theory is this.  Play up your assets.  Mine?  I have my boobies.  I'm sorry, boobies sound tiny.  I have BOOBS.  Dolly could be a distant cousin.  Seriously.  I figure this...wear a nice v-neck, show plenty of cleavage and nobody will notice your poochy belly.  Problem solved.  This is one of my all time favorite quotes from Rita Rudner:

 "Some people think having large breasts makes a woman stupid. Actually, it's quite the opposite: a woman having large breasts makes men stupid."

So there. 

Anyways...my shopping continued.  I got three pairs of earrings because I still have holes in my ears ("How are you going to hear otherwise?" Har har har).  My daughter is duly impressed.  And I got a pair of brown flip-flops with jewels and rhinestones.  Oh yeah...sthparkly!!

AND...

I bought a big round brush and a bottle of Redken Power Tame 16.  I read this shit takes the curls out of the craziest of hairs.  We'll see.  The fact that I spent SIXTEEN DOLLARS on one product blows my ever loving mind.  I get my mousse on sale for three bucks a can and it lasts me two months.  Do the math.  This shit better work.  I also got Nice and Easy foam in medium golden brown.  The foam sounds interesting in theory.  I hope it covers my skunk stripe!

If I'm feeling nice, I'll post a picture with the results tomorrow.  Maybe.

Oh...for those of you who left comments or tweets about yesterday's posting?  A heartfelt thank you.  :o)